Moundsville Goetjen: They are our greatest natural resource.

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I'm old, I know, but I'm still hot. I really want to see Lady Gaga, but I don't want to go by myself. If you want, I'll even pay for my ticket. It's in April. I figure it's as good a first date as any. Although I love my gay friends, I would prefer that you are straight. I don't care if you have hair, a child at home, or fashion sense. However, no fiscal or economic conservatives. No drugs. Please be reasonably intelligent. If you like Gaga, we already know you have good taste in music, so the rest is negotiable.

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